It Started With Screaming
by Raine-of-the-Night
Summary: He'd had enough. He would get what he wanted, and he wanted revenge.
1. I Love You

Disclaimer: Don't own Harry Potter, any songs I use, or anything else.

Warning: Mild Language, extremely mild, you won't even notice it, unless you're extremly sensitive. Also this is fiction, no offense to anyone who somehow takes offense to anything in this story. It's humor, or it's meant to be. More insanity than humor.

It started with screaming. Loud, long, terrible wails which shook Riddle Manor and promised some terrible fate; and as Lucius and Severus rushed towards the screams, they would find that it was only the beginning.

Outside of Lord Voldemort's room they could hear the screams louder than ever. Murmur's of 'make it stop! make it stop!', repeated over and over as a steady mantra made them both shiver. The thought 'just who could the Dark Lord be torturing now, and how.' Passed through their minds. Buckling up their courage, not that they really had anything, it was all in the sense of the matter. It took less courage to go and make sure nothing was wrong, and be punished for interrupting, than to find out later something had been wrong, and be punished for stupidity. Either way it would most likely be painful, however choices must be made, and well, they were Slytherin. Opening the door they entered as quietly as possible, not that they needed to, whoever was screaming was still going at it. The room was surprisingly dark.

"My Lord." Severus asked the darkness softly. As if a switch had been flipped the screaming stopped, a hoarse voice rasped out 'Lumos' and light flooded the room. Lord Voldemort was sitting up in bed, sweat running down his once again youthful face and red eyes were wide and dilated. Like he had been caught in a nightmare and been unable to escape. "My Lord?" Was the cautious question as both men shoved the idea away; dark lords didn't have nightmares after all. Voldemort stared at the wall before finally truning towards him, the rage in his eyes much more recognizable but a lot less pleasant than his previous look. If the dark lord could ever be considered pleasant.

"He will pay for thisss." His voice was still hoarse and now obviously lined thickly with parseltongue. Showing just how deeply his rage ran.

"My Lord?"

"Harry Potter." Both blinked and looked at each other, what in the world had the teenager done this time, and how in the world had he caused the Dark Lord to have nightmares. Seeing they were dismissed they left, only to hear Voldemort mutter to himself.

"If I hear that ssstupid sssong one more time I will kill that ssstupid evil purple dinossssaur by sssetting him on fire. Yesssss, let usssss ssssee how much he lovessss me then." Both men shut the door and exchanged frightened lord. Love, songs, purple dinosaur's, perhaps Voldemort was truly loosing it.

In Privet Drive number four, in the smallest bedroom Harry Potter woke up and began to giggle, wait, no he did not giggle, he laughed, rather insanely at that. Emerald eyes glinted in the dark, a smirk spreading across his lips. After all, Dumbledore had said the answer was love. He could sing, and had a damn powerful voice at that, something Voldemort didn't know, until now; which could be the 'power he knows not', and he was using the love factor. He doubted Dumbledore would really agree with his methods but he liked him. Besides, what better way to torture Voldemort than to torture him with the same purple dinosaur that had tormented him after he had been forced to watch the hideous American Children's show as a child; and maybe, just maybe, Voldemort would get mad enough to kill said purple dinosaur. Yes, Harry was having his revenge. On Barney and on Voldemort.

Omake:

"Harry! How are you?" Hermione said throwing her arms around her raven haired friend.

"Stunning Hermione, bloody beautiful." She paused, as if unsure how to respond to his strange response. However as he looked up from the paper he had been doodling, an assumption on her part, on, he gave her a brilliant smile that cleared away anything else that was going threw her mind.

"Well alright, if you say Harry. Now I've got to go meet Ron, prefects meeting at all." She almost giggled at that, "We'll meet you later than?"

"Of course." She left the compartment never noticing that the moment she stepped out, his wave goodbye turned into a little twist and the door shut and locked itself.

"Now, where was I….. oh yes, Butterflies." Harry smiled as he continued to draw, remembering the headlines on some American News Stations he had found online.

"Barney Unstable: Severe Mental Issues" He chuckled to himself, muggle's wouldn't recognize the effects of crucio, and the Wizarding world in the US had apparently not felt bothered to clean it up. Oh the sweet joy of revenge. Now, back to his task, butterflies.

~Note -

This is humor, not exactly edited except for spelling. I was bored...........still am actually, and can't sleep so I decided to actually try and write something besides one shots. Also something humorous. These will include songs, some of them I will edit and add too in the future just so it will tie in better.

I don't know if someone's done this before, I haven't read anything of this exact fashion before, but I'm not disclaiming it could be out there, somewhere, so if you do happen to know of, or be the author of something like this, I did not purposefully steal your idea. This isn't even an idea really. Just a bunch of random words typed out in what I think is humor. If you like it, well, I suppose you could review, you can also review if you don't like it, I can't exactly stop you.

As for the story, I'm not quite sure how long I want it to be, at least another 5 songs. I suppose I should say enjoy.


	2. Butterfly

Disclaimer: Don't own Harry Potter, any songs I use, or anything else.

Warning: Mild Language, extremely mild, you won't even notice it, unless you're extremly sensitive. Also this is fiction, no offense to anyone who somehow takes offense to anything in this story. It's humor, or it's meant to be. More insanity than humor.

A few days later Bella entered Voldemort's chamber to excitedly show him a brilliant green, blue, and black butterfly in an unbreakable glass jar.

"My Lord!" She said bowing before him, "The Japanese butterfly you wanted is here. The one with the magical properties of a h-." She was cut off by the sudden and steady flow of spells from the Dark Lord.

"GET IT OUT!! OUT DAMN IT!! GET IT OUT OF HERE!! I DON'T WANT A BUTTERFLY AND I WON'T BE YOUR DAMN SAMURAI!!" Bella fled for her, and the butterflies, life. Running outside to quickly free the butterfly she heaved a sigh of relief before shrugging and apparating home. Even she wasn't insane enough to go back in.

Happily perched on the ledge of the Owlery Harry sat contentedly drawing, he had long since finished the butterflies. The soft fluttering of velvet wings reached his sensitive ears and he held out his hand to let a beautiful butterfly land. It seemed to dance on his fingers before disappearing into his skin. Admiring the pretty butterfly tattoo that was now on his skin he shrugged. One less power for Voldemort. He laughed in childlike delight, and insanity, before going back to his drawing a young looking Voldemort, how Voldemort looked now, after he had shed his disgusting features, in a samurai outfit with a sword and a butterfly fluttering around him. Eyes darkened happily. It would be a nice little congratulations gift to Tom for succeeding in getting his new face. As he sketched he began to sing

"Ay ee ay ay  
Ay ee ay ay  
Ay ee ay ay  
Where's my Samurai

I've been searching for a man  
All across Japan  
Just to find  
To find my Samurai

Someone who is strong  
But still a little shy  
Yes I need  
I need my Samurai

Ay ee ay ee ay  
I'm Your little butterfly  
Green, black, and blue  
Make the colors in the sky

Ay ee ay ee ay  
I'm your little butterfly  
Green, black, and blue  
Make the colors in the sky

I've been searching in the woods  
And high upon the hills  
Just to find  
To find my Samurai"

It was coincidence, there was of course no connection between the song and thwarting Voldemort's plans, none at all. Voldemort opened the package sent to him with caution. He had checked it for every kind of spell he could think of and then a few more after that (He went and looked up spells he didn't know). Un-wrapping the framed picture he stared at it. At first enraptured by the beauty of the art piece before him, and then he realized what it was. He twitched, and continued to twitch until his death eaters arrived where he promptly began cursing them. He was not happy about being mocked.

Note ~ Disclaimer to the song, also I didn't change this one at all. I've been using random songs that have been so kind as to enter my mind and progressing the plot line from there.


	3. SugarQuill

Disclaimer: Don't own Harry Potter, any songs I use, or anything else.

Warning: Mild Language, extremely mild, you won't even notice it, unless you're extremly sensitive. Also this is fiction, no offense to anyone who somehow takes offense to anything in this story. It's humor, or it's meant to be. More insanity than humor.

The day was a beautiful one; majestic and bright to behold as the sun rose in all her grace and glory. One certain tormentor, a handsome, somewhat sly, rather insane green eyed lad to be exact, not that it ever is, was currently working on something. He wasn't quite sure what it was, but he knew he would before long. For while most of the other's thought that he was merely doodling away out by the lake, he was in fact planning. Planning something great yet terrible. Smirking to himself he allowed himself a mental laugh and shout of 'oh yeah! This'll get 'em!'. He would never shout such an undignified thing out loud, it would ruin the secrecy.

Now there are a few things you need to know about both Harry Potter and Voldemort. These things will help you understand the gravity of what was about to happen. You see Harry Potter adored sugar. He was in fact a sugar addict, and an open addict at that. As it was Harry was in a very happy mood, having just remembered something amazing. The next thing you need to know, which was that Voldemort could not stand sugar, he abstained from the stuff with the passion, the reason, he was allergic. Very very allergic. The next thing you need to know is that Voldemort, though knowing how bad it was for him, loved sugar. So when the tempting stuff was placed in front of him, well, he couldn't resist.

It was a brilliant idea Harry concluded as he put the finishing touches on the large and brightly colored basket in front of him. It was filled with green and gold confetti and was packed to the brim with all sorts of magical sweets. 'Ah, sweet revenge.' He decided as he used his wand to tie the packaging around the basket. As he wrote down the address on the box he decided that Ollivander had been right. His wand was destined to do terrible things, but oh how great they were. Now, all he had to do was a distraction and reason for Severus to be unable to answer Voldemort's call. Harry was positive that Voldemort would react the way he expected and wanted to make sure Severus couldn't go and help. A light went off in his head and he grinned. Time to work with an enemy worse than Voldemort.... Gossip. After all, he needed a distraction, a big one.

Dumbledore sighed, his wise blue eyes no longer twinkling as he surveyed the two sitting before him. "Really, I don't know what to do with you two." They both discreetly exchanged slightly alarmed glances, unfortunately for them Dumbledore caught the look. "It has come to my attention by way of certain informants, who they are I cannot disclose, that you two have a problem, and quite frankly, now that I think about it, I agree."

"Really Albus, you're making no sense. There is no problem here." Minerva McGonagall said as she straightened out her robes. "I can't see what you mean."

"Albus please get to the point. I have four potions to attend to and a detention." Severus said sourly, trying to be as polite as possible. The man sighed, leaning over his desk, eyes looking over the top of his glasses as he said.

"The tension between you two is the problem." Once again they exchanged glances, "It must be solved; things are getting out of hand."

"Albus," Minerva said hesitantly, "It's just the normal Slytherin and Gryffindor tension you know, it's not out of hand at all." Here Dumbledore scowled.

"Don't try to cover it up." He said, "Just because you're worried about how the houses will take it doesn't mean you have to let it build up." Now the two were thoroughly confused.

"Let what build up?" Severus almost regretted asking it, and immediately did after Dumbledore exploded.

"Why the frustration of course!! You two are radiating sexual frustration and doing nothing about it. The tension between you two could be cut with a knife." Now realizing just what kind of tension he was talking about the two began to blush and sputter, trying to dissuade the idea.

"Really Albus! I never." Minerva exclaimed her face dusted with red.

"The very idea! Sexual tension between us! Albus you are out of your mind."

"Now, now." They both stiffened, that tone with Dumbledore never meant any good, "I'm afraid that while at one time your excuses and explanations would have fooled me, I have been enlightened and cannot let this pass. Therefore, I must act as I see fit, for the greater good." They both paled, and next thing they knew they were both in a dark, rather cramped setting.

"I-is this a broom closet?" Minerva gasped out, still in shock from everything.

"Albusss." Severus growled out, trying to channel something of Voldemort, however it seemed he was better at bat impersonations than snake.

"Now now you two. Have a good little 'chat' and I'll be back in the morning. Oh, and there are wards in place to prevent entering or leaving without my permission." Extremely happy with himself Dumbledore practically skipped down the hall. Hogwart's had been ever so obliging in transporting them from his office to the broom closet. He however had no idea that she was in on the conspiracy. Meanwhile Severus and Minerva were having quite a difficult time, it seemed Minerva was claustrophobic.

A few giggles and quiet whispers came down the hall as little feet pattered down the stone, than a snap sounded, and then the sounds died down.

"It worked!" Luna laughed dreamily. Clapping her hands in ecstasy as she watched Dumbledore and her two teachers. Her partner in crime, Dobby the house elf nodded his sock ridden head.

"It dids indeeds Clouded One." In the beginning, Dobby had no idea what to call her, so he had decided to just go with the fact that for a human who was stuck on the ground, she somehow managed to still keep her head in the clouds.

"Let's go tell Harry." However as they found out a moment later, they need not have bothered, Hogwarts had apparently already informed the boy, and he was impishly grinning at them.

"Thank you my friends, between you and everyone who 'overheard' you the plan is now emotion and distraction has come." He gave them a charming smile and the two parted their separate ways, not bothering to ask what the distraction had been needed for. "Now, Hedwig, be a darling and take this for me would you?" He asked the beautiful snowy owl as she preened her feathers next to him. Eyeing the package she seemed to contemplate before nodding and hooting her approval, a devious glint in her tawny eyes. She was after all, Harry's owl, and that accounted for a lot.

Voldemort was at his desk when a beautiful owl he recognized as that-insufferable-teenage-who-has-way-too-much-angst-and-hyphens (caused-namely-by-himself), appeared before him, landing with a soft plunk. The 'plunk' sound came from the rather large package dropped on his desk. Immediately the man gave a small shoo to the bird, waving it towards a dish in which he kept owl treats, next to it was one for water. The owl hooted thankfully, seeming to check the dishes for poison, smart bird, before eating the refreshments offered. Settling his ruby eyes gaze upon the box he tried to see through it, it didn't work. Sighing he got to work on making sure it was safe. Once he had concluded it was not dangerous to his health, oh if only he knew, he opened it. Stunned upon seeing the basket with sweets and an elegant scrawl saying 'thinking of you'. He immediately began to eat, he couldn't help it, they were delicious. That night as he went to bed he wondered why Potter had sent him the sweets and why he felt like he was forgetting something important. Meanwhile in Hogwarts a smiling Harry slid to sleep. The lyrics and pictures he had drawn firmly imprinted into his memory.

"You're my Honeybunch, Cauldron Cake

Pumpy-umpy-umpkin, You're my Pepper Imp

You're my SugarQuill, IceMice

Fizzing-Whizbees, You're the Apple of my Eye

And I love you so and I want you to know

That I'll always be right here

And I love to sing sweet songs to you

Because you are so dear"

In his mind a chibi-fied version of himself sang it with a very serious expression. Inwardly he was smirking.

Gasping Voldemort awoke, his mind grasping two things. One, his stomach was in immense pain, two, he had just been sung another song. Damn, he was nobody's Honeybunch, or SugarQuill. He groaned and rolled over onto his side. A sudden realization made him sit up only to lay back down groaning. He had once again forgotten his reaction to sugar. He sighed, honestly, Potter could somehow to the stupidest things without even trying. Murmuring a spell he called Severus to get a potion. A few minutes passed and he called again, frowning when no one answered. Finally he gave up, he would get answers later, at the moment he was having trouble deciding between puking, or sleeping.

The Morning After:

Groaning Voldemort sat up, feeling much better, except now he was craving sweets, damn their glorious taste, and cursing Potter for the song that was now on repeat. He sighed, how could he ever kill Potter now when every time he thought of the boy an adorable little chibi-fied version of the teen popped up singing songs. Well, one song. He called Severus once again, wondering if perhaps the mark was defective and was surprised with the speed in which the Potions Master arrived.

"Yes my lord?" Severus asked from a kneeling position.

"Where were you last night when I called." Severus blanched.

"Forgive me my lord I was entertaining guests."

"Guests? That does not explain why you did not come Severus." Voldemort was still not happy with puking up most of the sugar he had eaten. "Who were you with that you could not leave and where was it that was so hard to get out." Severus winced, wishing he had just told the truth, it would be so much more awkward now.

"Minerva McGonagall." He managed to say through parched lips.

"That doesn't explain where." Voldemort was impatient but now curious, deadly curious.

"The broom closet my lord." Severus's face was flushed and a moment later his jaw hit the floor when Voldemort began to laugh outrageously.

"Oh Salazar!" He gasped out, "Severus, entertaining McGonagall, in a broom closet." Realizing the full extent of his humiliation by just an ill interpreted lie, Severus plotted revenge against Dumbledore, and then a hasty suicide.

Note - I just wrote this, came to me as I was lying here rather bored. Hmm, maybe you'll like it, not quite sure, yes the song has been altered. By the way, I am extremely tired, and this is rather insane humor, if it's funny at all, well, than I guess it was fun.


	4. Basilisks, Werewolves and Trolls Oh My

Disclaimer: Don't own Harry Potter, any songs I use, or anything else.

Warning: Mild Language, extremely mild, you won't even notice it, unless you're extremly sensitive. Also this is fiction, no offense to anyone who somehow takes offense to anything in this story. It's humor, or it's meant to be. More insanity than humor.

It was Halloween, and many were worried about an attack. However Harry was smirking, he knew there would be no attack, he had decided it was his turn to give Voldemort a surprise on Halloween, and Voldemort being Voldemort, had figured out something was up, and was too cautious to do anything. That night after the feast he gave a little laugh before slipping off to sleep. Even as he fell asleep he began singing, an odd little tune, with odd lyrics.

"I'm not scared of basilisks and werewolves and trolls [oh my]  
But I'm scared of [loving you]  
I'm not scared to perform at a sold out affair [quidditch and all]  
But I'm scared of [loving you]  
Am I the only one who thinks it's an impossible task? [I know Dumbledore doesn't]  
Why it don't last? Is that too much to ask?  
Why do we love Love, when Love seems to hate us

Sorry if I sound so filled with gloom

I've been locked up in my room

You say you don't care and I know you don't  
But this is from my experience  
And my conclusion only makes sense  
Just cause I hate u and u hate me,  
It doesn't mean that we're meant to be,  
I can fight dragons, swim through the lake,  
But the most frightening thing is you & me!

After everything we've gone through

All the times I've almost died

The times you've tried to kill me

The times in which you've lied

I'm not scared of basilisks and werewolves and trolls [oh my]  
But I'm scared of [loving you]  
I'm not scared to perform at a sold out affair [quidditch and all]  
But I'm scared of [loving you]  
Am I the only one who thinks it's an impossible task? [I know Dumbledore doesn't]  
Why it don't last? Is that too much to ask?  
Why do we love Love, when Love seems to hate us?

Most circumstances I know my fate

Decided by that blasted seer  
But in this love thing I don't get the game

I'm just a weapon and you're the war  
Why does it feel like those who give in,  
They only wind up losing a friend?  
Just cause I hate u and u hate me,  
It doesn't mean that we'll never be,  
Fly cross the ocean, sing for the Lord,  
But the most frightening thing is you & me!

But maybe It's worth it, if in the end

This love between us, makes it all end

So I'll try to love, and let it decide

Which one of us, will in the end die

[You better hope it's you cause if it isn't you'll be stuck with a singing ghost! ^-^ NYAH!]

Voldemort was beginning to regret ever having attacked the teen, he wasn't sure how much more of this he could take. The constant dreams were getting to him. He was amazed that Harry had lasted this long and stayed as strong as he was when Voldemort had been the one sending the dreams, with all the terrors and horrors turned to nightmares. Voldemort was beginning to think himself as having been merciful; he'd never been this cruel in his dreams to Harry.

Meanwhile Harry having woken up chuckled softy, maybe there was something to the 'love theory' after all. Voldemort seemed to hate all the songs he was singing, and every single one had something to do with love. Harry chuckled once more. Oh yes, revenge was sweet, and he loved taking revenge like this. Seeing Voldemort suffer was almost as good as flying and drawing. Yes, this was something he loved doing. Now, later on he would need to find another song, thank god for muggle internet. A light smile graced his face, he wondered what Voldemort thought of Nelly Furtado .

~Note - so this was actually written on the day I wrote the first two chapters, I was planning on not putting it up for a little and then shrugged and decided to edit it and put it up. The song is edited to fit the story. Also the next one might be up by tonight. Yes, it will be Nelly Furtado. If you can guess which song, well, lovely for you. No there are no actual pairings for this story, at least not yet. I haven't found anyone insane enough to be with Harry and right now he is focusing all his 'love', a rather sadistic insane kind of love, on taking revenge on Voldemort. He's slightly pissed at the man and ready to give him hell. In a sweet lovely kind of way filled with butterflies, the stuff of Voldemort's nightmares and all. So yah, also I'm thinking about doing a side-story from this one. It would be called Matchmakers Extreme! Basically it would go more into depth with the 'tension' between Severus and Minerva and would also show you just what Harry does in his free time. (I mean he is trying to learn all he can about love, and distract Dumbledore enough so the old man doesn't bother him). But that's about it. I'm not sure if I'm going to do it or not.


	5. Death Eater

Disclaimer: Don't own Harry Potter, any songs I use, or anything else.

Warning: Mild Language, extremely mild, you won't even notice it, unless you're extremly sensitive. Also this is fiction, no offense to anyone who somehow takes offense to anything in this story. It's humor, or it's meant to be. More insanity than humor.

'Oh this was too good.' Harry thought giddily as he downloaded the song. It would take a few times of singing to memorize the tune, and then he would begin work on the lyrics. If anyone had seen him they would have been worried at the insane glint in his eye. However if anyone had seen it, and no one did, and been brave enough to question him about it. He would have merely said he was plotting the Dark Lord's downfall whilst gaining inspiration from muggle music. And if further questioned, by perhaps a muggleborn, he would have said, 'Nelly Furtado'. And that would have been quite enough to scare anyone away for good. But luckily for all no one asked him, and so no one was scared, and no one knew, just what he was planning.

Voldemort sighed wearily, massaging his temple as he tried to focus on the Death Eater meeting. He had been trying so hard to not sleep the last few nights, he didn't know if he could take another song. His only comfort was that Harry did not know how to send visions. He shuddered, despairing at the thought.

Smiling at the now perfect plan, Harry grinned, all ready to try out his new plot. For the last few nights, Voldemort had been ignoring him. Namely by doing the only thing the Dark Lord could do. Forced insomnia. Now, well, here are two more things you need to know, one is never ever, ever, ever, ever, ever (I'm sure you get the point by now, and well, if you don't than you're an idiot, but just in case) ever, ignore Harry, especially when he's out for revenge. Good things do not come your way, in fact bad things happen, very bad things. Second, is that it never works. You cannot ignore Harry, because if you do, you will find yourself unable to ever do it again, it just doesn't work, and he won't let you. Why? Because he's Harry Bloody Potter, as he likes to remind us, the boy-who-will-not-shut-the-bloody-hell-up. A new nickname from Tom (Voldemort), sent with love of course; HA!. Anyways, as it is, Harry was not happy about being ignored. We shall look at this from his point of view, unless I get bored, from his point of view until further information.

Harry sighed, he couldn't wait for the class to be over, some things, he had found, were just barely tolerable. And well, ever since the broom closet incident, well, Snape was worse than ever, not to mention what McGonagall was like. So now as he waited for the potions class to end he went over the last few days in his mind. Ever since Voldemort had begun to ignore him he had gotten agitated. For him it was irony, pure and simple irony. The one time he didn't want someone to ignore him and they did so, figures that he'd mess it up. All the times he tried to get people's attention off of him in vain, and now, just a little bit of nagging, and WALLAH! POOF! He was ignored. By the wrong person. But this didn't worry him, after all, he had a plan. He noticed Snape twinge and grinned to himself. Potions was let out early and he dashed to his bed. Time to put the plan into action.

Not Harry's View Point Any Longer!

Voldemort frowned as the last of his Death Eater's arrived. It was the last batch and that meant he could finally start the meeting. As the last few minions came up to kiss his robe he felt something hit him, but not in the physical sense. His only chance for rebuttal was a quiet mental groan of, "oh shit!" mixed with "you've got to be kidding me." It came out more like "You got shit on me." And unfortunately that was what he accidently spoke out loud, confusing a lot of Death Eaters.

Verse 1]  
Everybody look at me, me  
I walk in the door you start screaming  
Come on everybody whatcha here for?  
Move your body around like a nympho  
Everybody get your necks to crack around  
All you crazy people come on jump around  
I want to see you all on your knees, knees  
You either want to be with me, or be me!

Death Eater, make you work hard  
Make you spy hard  
Make you want all of her love  
She's a Death Eater  
make you buy cars  
make you cut cards  
make you fall real hard in love  
She's a Death Eater, make you work hard  
Make you spend hard  
Make you want all of her love  
She's a Death Eater  
make you buy cars  
make you cut cards  
Wish you never ever met her at all!

And when she walks, she walks with passion  
when she talks, she talks like she can handle it  
when she asks for something, boy, she means it  
even if you never ever seen it (Crucio!)  
everybody get your necks to crack around  
all you crazy people come on jump around  
you doing anything to keep her by your side  
because she said she love you, love you long time!

Death Eater, make you work hard  
Make you spend hard  
Make you want all of her love  
She's a Death Eater  
make you buy cars  
make you cut cards  
make you fall real hard in love  
She's a Death Eater, make you work hard  
Make you spend hard  
Make you want all of her love  
She's a Death Eater  
make you buy cars  
make you cut cards  
Wish you never ever met her at all!

[Chants]

(Crucio! AK! BANG!)

Death Eater, make you work hard  
Make you spend hard  
Make you want all of her love  
She's a Death Eater  
make you buy cars  
make you cut cards  
make you fall real hard in love  
She's a Death Eater, make you work hard  
Make you spend hard  
Make you want all of her love  
She's a Death Eater  
make you buy cars  
make you cut cards  
Wish you never ever met her at all!

No!  
Never ever met her at all!  
you wish you never ever met her at all!  
you wish you never ever met her at all!  
you wish you never ever met her at all!  
you wish you never ever met her at all!  
you wish you never ever met her at all!  
you wish you never ever met her at all!  
you wish you never ever met her at all!

Voldemort came back to his senses with a choking noise, red eyes wide and slightly dilated. He didn't know which part of the music video he had just been subjected to was worse. The part where his Death Eater's were jumping around, where Bellatrix was flinging herself around the room. Or when he had been dancing muggle style, with leather, and a wig on. Not a fun mental image. He suddenly realized what had happened and felt like strangling Harry's neck. (Note – whenever Voldemort wants to do something even remotely muggle, it means he's in a really really really (I really should not have to spell this out) bad mood). Somehow the stupid teenager had not only managed to send him a vision, but had also managed to come up with fake scenes. Because he knew for a fact he had never worn leather or a wig. Growling he wondered if World Domination and Immortality were truly worth it. Now, time to make himself feel better with a self-confidence booster, starting with a round of crucios.

Meanwhile, Harry sighed contentedly, it was nice knowing he was appreciated, even if it was in the bad sense, and not being ignored any more. Also, as we know his survival skills are as bad as his social, nada!, he found himself happy about no longer being ignored. And so he was tired, pleased and content. So unlike some that night *cough –tom-* He slept soundly, dreaming on into oblivion.

Note – So, this was just typed up real fast, don't know if it'll be that good. I didn't change to much of the song, and well, I'm bored, and un-motivated….. actually I'm rarely motivated, I just thought I'd actually try and keep to a schedule, something I've never actually done before unless editing someone's work. So I'm going to try and put another one out within the next two days, either Saturday or Sunday. I might also start the Matchmakers Extreme!, still contemplating that. Also coming up, at least I think I might do something with it, sparkles! A plus or a downside to immortality? Does Voldemort really think happy sparkles are worth living forever with.


	6. Taking the Muggles to Hogwarts

Disclaimer: Don't own Harry Potter, any songs I use, or anything else.

Warning: Mild Language, extremely mild, you won't even notice it, unless you're extremly sensitive. Also this is fiction, no offense to anyone who somehow takes offense to anything in this story. It's humor, or it's meant to be. More insanity than humor.

They're taking the Muggles to Hogwarts! They're taking the Muggles to Hogwarts! They're taking the Muggles to Hogwarts!  
They're taking the Muggles to Hogwarts! They're taking the Muggles to Hogwarts! They're taking the Muggles to Hogwarts!  
They're taking the Muggles to Hogwarts!

-Warts  
-Warts  
-Warts  
-Warts

They're taking the Muggles to Hogwarts!

-Warts  
-Warts  
-Wa-Warts  
-Warts

They're taking the Muggles to Hogwarts! They're taking the Muggles to Hogwarts! They're taking the Muggles to Hogwarts!

What did you say?

The Muggles  
The Muggles  
The Muggles  
The Muggles

To Hogwarts!  
To Hogwarts!

The Muggles  
The Muggles  
The Muggles  
The Muggles

To Hogwarts!  
To Hogwarts!

The Muggles  
The Muggles  
The Muggles  
The Muggles

To Hogwarts!  
To Hogwarts!

They're taking the hobbits to Hogwarts!

-Warts  
-Wawawa-Warts

Tell me, where is Dumbledore, for I much desire to speak with him.

Tell me, where is Dumbledore, for I much desire to speak with him.

A dementor of Azkaban...  
What did you say?

A dementor of Azkaban...  
What did you say?

They're taking the Muggles to Hogwarts!  
Stupid fat Muggle!  
Stupid fat Muggle!

They're taking the Muggles to Hogwarts! They're taking the Muggles to Hogwarts! They're taking the Muggles to Hogwarts!

Stupid fat Muggle!

Leave now, and never come back!

Harry laughed to himself, sometimes payback was so sweet. He hadn't needed to see Voldemort's face when he sent the song; he had gotten enough of a laugh from the Dark Lord's mental expressions. He shook his head with a grin. In his mind he had recreated the music video. He and Neville as Frodo and Sam, Draco Malfoy as Legolas, Hermione (with short hair) and Ron as Merry and Pippin. Voldemort (before he had gotten his younger features back) had been Gollum, his uncle the fat Muggle, Dumbledore as Gandalf, Lucius Malfoy as Celeborn. Oh it had been fun, checking the time he shrugged and headed off to class, he would probably take a nap or plan during it.

Screams once again echoed throughout Riddle Manor. The Dark Lord was in a bad mood. One of his Death Eaters had caught him muttering 'Stupid fat Muggles.' Even for the Dark Lord that was a new one.

Note ~ Not my song, I just changed it, if you haven't heard it I suggest you look up 'taking the hobbits to Isengard' on youtube. The tune will help.

Have fun, might not do one for a bit. Vacation and all. (and yes, tis short, for the song is long)


End file.
